It's a boy!

My sister's gender reveal was this weekend and I'm not gonna lie. It was awesome to surprise her with bulldog puppies, her favorite!   In my recent research I talk about having two closets my whole life. One for girls clothes and one for boys...because I never felt like I could be or dressed how I wanted. And pending who I was hanging out with that weekend (catholic high school friends, or progressive college buds) I would often have to dip into both closets.While I am not one to celebrate gender, as it seems very mainstream I understand the excitement of a person and the different views of others. And for us family of OCD planners understand why she might want to know beforehand. She hates surprises too. Rest assured no matter what the assigned gender, it will own a tool box and her tools won't be pink, see musicals of his favorite movies, rock some backwards hats with her curls, and it will surely only ever have to have "one closet". In a world filled with parents who have left their children behind wondering if they will ever return to teach them how to play catch, in a world filled with Moms who leave their sons at the signing table when they selected their opposing choice of a college, in a world that has left LGBTQIA youth homeless, and transgender students nowhere to go for Thanksgiving breaks....I find it comforting to know that one child, whether boy or girl, binary or not, they or he, will be loved no matter what...and that is because it will come from a family who has experienced loss often, or addiction, hardship or trauma, or discrimination...and therefore it will be loved from all angles, whether shes rocking a flannel or heels, or whether he's in dance class or wearing some Jordans. Because of who we are, and who we are not, we can understand each other just a bit better. We can wear pantsuits to our sisters weddings, we can shop for bras together, we can try new things together, we can still have our own identity and celebrate others who have a different one too. I don't think of gender reveals as the naming of an identity...I think of them as tryouts, as bootcamp....to let that child and family know "hey, these people here...in this room...they are your team, your community,they are your people, you are going to need them, to fall back on, to raise a beautiful child in a sometimes cruel world. Don't be afraid to ask for pitch runners, for substitutes, for some coaching, and don't be afraid to cut those who are not bringing their gifts to share. We may have a small blood line, but when it comes down to it....these are the people at the starting line, and they are your team and here...here right now...look around this room.....they are here to show you that'.